Motherhood

Maybe I'm crazy, but being a mom has brought ups and downs, but it feels like I'm on a constant roller coaster. I do things wrong I do things right, and at the end of most days i feel as though I have fallen short. After years of abuse, I know exactly who not to be, and I try so hard to treat my kids 100% better than I ever was. I get really into holidays, I try and provide way more than they need yet, it always hits me late at night. Was it enough? Did I yell? Did that come off to harsh? Then my currently six year old was just diagnosed adhd, and I know alot of people think its some fluke, and even his Dr says well it could just be "learned behavior", because clearly I'm an idiot and do things wrong. I'm pretty sure its written on my forehead. Luckily we tried medication and it worked proving its not learned behavior, it was an actual issue and this mommy was saved.... This time... But when we don't always have the time to be the mom always at the school, or we are taking time on focusing our spare attention on our health, we look like awful parents. In the end we know there are tons of misconceptions and stereotypes that people think of, but how do you really know that your doing a good job? You can have all the money in the world, give your child the stars and yet, your child might not turn out the way you have hoped. I guess all we can do for now is hope, pray, and do our best to ensure the future or our children and our world.

Introduction

Sometimes life isn't always cupcake and rainbows. Some of us have to put on smiles and constantly fight for every ounce of happiness we can get and spend time trying to hide our pasts from those around us. This blog isn't about pitty, its more an outlet, because honestly I'm tired of fighting, and pretending and trying to hide the horrible things. Id also like to be here to support others and help them through battles that they may have gone through or experienced if they don't have someone to talk to. We live in 2013 and yet we can speak with psychologists and psychiatrists online or over the phone. We live in fear, fear of others, and fear of ourselves. I think today it is harder to become who we should be because in the technological age we live, we have the ability to hide from the things we don't like.
I guess I should tell you about myself and my family. I'm a stay at home mom to two wonderful boys, I love them to pieces, by far the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. My oldest was born in 2006 one month after I turned 18 and was born during what should have been my Christmas vacation senior year. My youngest was born five years later :). My fiance is a truck driver and is gone most of the time only home a few days a month. We are getting married in a few short months, and I can honestly tell you I'm going to spend forever with him.
My hopes for this blog is to help others through abuse; sexual, physical, mental, and rape (this can be as young as age 5 and into teen relationships, more posts to come on this later) I can also help with teen pregnancy, being a single mom, and even help with pinching Penny's :) I can tell you what NOT to buy at the dollar store. Id also like to share a bit of my weight loss journey. Oh, and I can tell you the truth about being homeless. I really hope to get some followers and I hope that I can help get you through some rough times.